A Girl's World
by miikaima
Summary: It's hard being a girl in a man's world. A collection of short stories about canon female and gender-bent characters navigating through life. Summaries of all stories inside / Mainly angst and romance.
1. Summaries

**Hi! I'm going to be writing all of the summaries for the short stories on this page, just so that you can choose which stories you want to read instead of having to filter through stories that are about characters that you don't like or plotlines that you don't like.**

 **It's pretty short right now, but that's because I only have a few stories atm. I'll be updating it though as I write more and more.**

* * *

Chapter 1: The Coffee Incident / Fem!Denmark and Norway

Summary: Fem!Denmark knows that Norge and her family are going to love her more than life itself, she just has to change a few things about herself. No biggie.

Categories: Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, maybe Drama?

* * *

Chapter 2: Nightmares / Fem!Lithuania and Poland, MILD Fem!Lithuania and Russia, and mentioned RoChu

Summary: Tiesa has PTSD, Feliks helps her through it.

Categories: Romance, Angst

* * *

Chapter 3: The Orphan / Fem!America and England.

Summary: Amelia was orphaned aged 4, being sent to a group home, where she meets a curious British boy.

Categories: Human AU, Romance, Coming of Age


	2. The Coffee Incident

**Hi everyone! Thanks so much for reading this story! This is my first story in ages so I hope y'all like it.**

 **Summary: Nyo!Denmark knows that Norge and her family are going to love her more than life itself, she just needs to change a few little things about herself, no biggie.**

She ran a hand through her long blonde hair, blowing a strand of hair out of her face and sighing, the kind of dramatic sigh that Norway hated.

She instantly forced the dramatic sighs to stop halfway through. She couldn't do anything that her dear Norge wouldn't like.

Call it a new year's resolution, even though it was June, but this year Denmark wasn't going to get in Norway's way at all, she would be the perfect bubbly sidekick who was always there for him and never get on his nerves.

It was wearing her out, though, and it was only her second day.

She remembered a simpler time in her life when all five of them were together, living in her country, she was so happy. They lived traditional lives in a small little cottage in central Jutland, and although they were immortal nations who could have all the riches in the world if they simply asked for it, they decided to steer away from the histrionicism of the newly industrialising world, away from the decadence and modernisation.

Just the five of them, a small cottage, and love.

Where did it all go?

It didn't matter to Mathilde though, she was going to win them all back, first Norge, then Sverige, then Island and finally Finland.

They would be a family again, whether they liked it or not.

She took a moment to study herself in the mirror, turning around to watch her long blonde hair sway down at her waist, she had curled it slightly today, not used to making the effort to tame her hair, so it certainly didn't look salon grade, but it was pretty enough, she concluded.

Pretty enough for Norge.

You see, she was almost notorious for her long hair which was often a mess, jutting off in unexpected angles almost as though it was spiky.

Today she was making a special effort.

Her outfit was also meticulously chosen, a white summer dress, long black knee-high socks, and her signature black and red cardigan thrown over the top.

Yes, she concluded, I look… pretty.

She wasn't used to feeling feminine at all, and despite a petite frame, long hair and pretty face no one really saw her as a girl due to her loud, boyish and often obnoxious personality, along with the fact that she knew practically no girls except maybe for Greenland, as she surrounded herself with boys all of the time.

She sighed again, obnoxious, stupid and boyish, that must be why they all left me.

She looked at the mirror one more time and walked out of the door after locking up, getting into her car.

It was the day of the world meeting Hamburg, meaning that luckily she was close enough to simply drive from her house to Germany, and although it was a few grueling hours in the car, anything was better than having to sit in an airport for hours on end.

By the time she had arrived the other nations were still pouring in. At least Norge couldn't get annoyed at her for being too late, huh?

She walked through the halls towards the Scandinavian panel before she was interrupted.

"HEY! DANEMARK!"

She whipped her head around to see an energetic albino practically jumping off of the walls.

She instantly smiled, she understood what it felt like to have so much energy and no one to show it to.

"I hardly even recognised you! I always look out for the hair when it comes to you, you look nice!"

She blushed slightly, although Prussia and her were no more than 'best bros for life' it felt so nice to be given a compliment, especially since she hadn't received for a long time.

"Thanks, dude!" She said, giving him a fist-bump.

"I see that the hair's changed but the personality hasn't."

She laughed.

"Don't fix what ain't broke!" She joked, yet deep down she knew that it was a lie.

Hypocrite, she thought, you are 'broke', that's why you're fixing your personality for Norge and the others.

I know that I should be acting grown up and mature for Norge, but it can't hurt just to act like myself around Gilbert, can it?

"Damn right you are!" Prussia said, going in for a crazy bear hug, she responded with just as much enthusiasm.

"Honestly, you act like you never see each other, you two got together last week." Said a new voice, cold and accented.

Both of them turned their heads to the familiar voice to see a taller Norwegian man somewhat sneering at them, holding a coffee in one hand and folders in the other.

Both Prussia and Denmark awkwardly broke apart the bear hug, knowing that Norge clearly wasn't impressed.

Denmark didn't know why, what was wrong with having friends?

"Lukas! I missed you!" She exclaimed, trying to run up to him and give him a huge hug.

It failed. Catastrophically. Coffee spilled all over his folders, over his clothes, even getting into his silvery hair.

Oh God. No! She had worked so hard to be perfect, even if it was only for 24 hours.

He looked up at her, seething, and Prussia gasped in a very girly manner.

"IDIOT!" He screamed, alerting everyone in the room, which by this point was practically every country in the world.

She recoiled, his harsh words sinking in, hitting where it hurt.

Idiot? That was what she was, wasn't it?

Good for nothing Dane with her head in the clouds. Airheaded to the point of no return.

"YOU CAN'T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT!"

More attention, more stares.

Stop it! Stop it! I don't want the attention, I don't want Lukas to be angry at me!

"I COME IN AND THE FIRST THING I GET IT YOUR STUPID BODY FLUNG AT ME AND THANK JESUS THAT COFFEE WAS COLD BECAUSE I WOULD BE EVEN MORE FUCKING PISSED OFF IF IT WASN'T!"

He was swearing. Lukas never swore at her.

Not even the day he left her.

Tears began welling up as she bit her top lip to stop the flow.

Dignity, Mathilde, have dignity.

"Dude, stop it!" A German accent cut in, Prussia stepping in front of her, creating a barrier between the now silently whimpering Mathilde and Lukas.

"Stay out of it Prussia! It's not your business, it's her fault that she's always in the way so she may as well be told what she's doing wrong!"

This is what it's come to, she thought, I'm being scolded like a child in front of the whole world.

I'm older than all of them, they used to cower at my name. Kongeriget Danmark. I owned England at one point for Odin's sake, now they treat me like I'm five.

"You bastard! Like you're any better!" Shouted Prussia, a seriousness and anger in his tone that Denmark hadn't heard since she was at war with him, and that was over 150 years ago. The seriousness felt odd on his voice. "You sit there all day and sulk over your coffee! I don't know why she's so devoted to you. Mathilde would jump off a bridge for you yet it would appear that you wouldn't even sacrifice a coffee and a couple of folders for her happiness!"

Lukas scoffed, turning into a seething red colour, droplets of brown liquid still rhythmically dropping from his strands of hair.

"I'm no hypocrite, if anything she's the hypocrite, she acts a perfect and goofy but in all honesty she's just clingy-"

"You COLD BASTARD! It's not true! Don't you dare say that about Mathild-"

"-WHY DOES IT MATTER IF I'M A COLD BASTARD! AT LEAST I DON'T GET IN PEOPLE'S FACES ALL THE TIME!"

There was silence for a few moments among everyone in the room, before the only rapture in the silence was a big, ugly sob that was ripped from Mathilde's mouth.

"Shit." Whispered Lukas under his breath, walking closer to her in trepidation, 'shit shit shit shit shi-"

"SHUT UP!" Screamed Mathilde, "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!"

She was clutching her hands over her ears, she had now collapsed to the ground, rocking back a forth like a loony.

They're all watching me, she thought, the whole world knows that I have no one. No one. No. One.

Prussia came up behind her, lifting her up and holding her, rocking her slowly as she cried.

It was the longest minute in the history of world meetings.

Longer than that time that Italy and Romano were fighting.

Longer than that time that Sweden and Finland had a skirmish about Sealand.

Longer than that time that Liechtenstein cried because her brother was angry at her.

No. That minute of Denmark's heart-wrenching sobs was so long that it felt longer than the longest wars that they had fought.

Everyone was too scared to say a thing, so they simply said nothing and alternated between watching Norway's shocked and guilt-stricken face and Denmark's sobs.

The silence was finally broken by Sweden, who walked up to Norway, whispered to him to sit down and then crouched down to look at Denmark, Prussia practically hissing at him with every step closer he took, guarding her like a lioness guarded her cub. It made sense though, the two of them had been like brother and sister since the dawn of time.

"D'nmark…" He said, cautious not to upset her further.

Sweden tried to get her eye contact.

He failed, her eyes still shut tightly, tears escaping as rapidly as before.

"D'nmark… We love you, you kn'w that don't you?"

Another sob. Then another. And another.

"Ple'se, D'nmark. Stop crying. He didn't mean it."

Silence. More sobs.

"Liars." She spat out, her eyes still squeezed shut and teeth still clenched. "You never cared. None of you. You what's funny, I thought I could win you all back if I acted perfectly and changed my personality. I'm a fool to think that you'd all want me back. I want my family back, the one that would sail the seas together and conquer new lands. It feels like they died and left you in their places."

A gasp came from Norway at the Scandinavia table, an odd mixture of coffee and tears on his face. Finland and Iceland looked just as shocked, on the brink of tears.

"D'nmark. I'll say it again. We love you" Came Sweden's unsteady voice.

"Liars." She breathed out again, as though it were a whisper.

""Ple'se stop, Math'lde, you're worrying us."

"You're all so cold, you think that you can come here and make amends just because I'm upset now. It doesn't take from the years of names being thrown at me."

"It's all friendly D'nmark. The n'mes prove that we're a family."

"We're not a real family Sve, you know that much." She said, louder this time so that everyone could hear her. "Our family broke up years ago."

"You know that's n't true."

"We're living a sham." She whispered, so quietly that only really Prussia could hear her.

Mathilde knew that she was probably over-reacting, but it felt so good to say it out loud. The thoughts had been eating her alive for years.

He held her closer and kept on rocking until he whispered if she wanted to leave into her ear.

She nodded, asking if she could leave the room alone.

Prussia looked almost offended that she didn't want him to go with her, but at the same time he understood why she wanted to be alone.

She left the meeting hall graciously, with her head held high, despite her makeup that she had spent so long on running down her face in streaks of black and the white sundress had brown spots where she had sat in that puddle of lukewarm coffee.

Dignity, she thought, they saw you come in broken, let them watch you leave as a poised young woman, make them respect you again like they used to.

As soon as she was out of the room and in solitude, she had expected to break down into another fit of sobs but nothing would come out.

She was drained dry of tears, so empty that she was a shell in which nothing could escape.

She didn't quite know how it came to happen, but somehow she found herself curled inside a broom cupboard, switching the lights off and letting herself fall asleep, the emotions swirling in the pit of her stomach becoming too much of a hassle to deal with.

* * *

She woke up in a familiar bed, familiar house with a familiar coffee smell to it.

There was a familiar man sitting in a familiar chair with familiar silvery hair.

With an unfamiliar look of worry etched on his perfect features.

The memories of the day before came flooding back like one of Japan's tsunamis.

"Good morning." He said, a single tear slipping out of his eyes.

"What am I doing here?"

"I found you in the broom closet asleep, decided to take you home… God! What were you doing in there!"

"Why are you crying?" She whispered, still half asleep and half upset. "You never cry."

"I've never had something to cry over before."

"I'm not worth crying over." She said, burying her face into the duvet.

"Of course you are."

An awkward silence fell over the two. It was an odd and unwelcome feeling, Denmark always had something to say to Lukas but now her voice box felt clipped, as though it had been strangled with a million ties and she just couldn't get the words out.

"I didn't mean it you know. What I said." He said, looking down in shame.

"Of course you did." She reiterated.

"I didn't"

"Well, I meant what I said." She whispered, looking at him so that he would lift his head and look her straight in the eye.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You're cold and heartless and you never cared for me."

He said nothing, returning his eyes back to that spot on the ground that he apparently thought was so riveting.

"I worship you, though. What you said won't change that. Never can and never will." She whispered again.

"I know." He said.

"I'd do anything for you."

"I know."

"I don't know why. You're not worth it."

"I- I know," Lukas repeated, his voice wavering.

"I'll always be there for you, even if you don't want me. I have no one else."

Lukas' head snapped up. "See that's where you've got it wrong."

Mathilde tilted her head in confusion, her facial expressions saying all of the things that her mouth didn't know how to say.

"I'll always be there for you too." He said, with a small bittersweet smile. "I'm not ideal, I'm mean and cold and that probably won't be changing anytime soon, but I'm as devoted to you as you are to me, and that scares me."

He paused, looking anywhere but into her eyes, trying desperately to look natural.

"You love me?"

"I love you." He choked out, not because it wasn't true but because the words felt unnatural on his tongue.

"Ok."

"Huh?" He inquired. He was expecting her to be much happier than this, wasn't this what she wanted.

"I don't know what to say."

"This is the bit where you say I love you too."

"But I'm scared. I've wanted you to say those words to me for centuries yet now I don't know what to respond with."

"Of what? Of me? Please, Mathilde, don't be scared of me."

There was a moment of silence as he went to sit on the bed, joining her.

"I'm not afraid of you, I'm afraid of your words." She breathed, locking their eyes. "They hurt, Lukas, my god they hurt. Tiny little knives, each and every one of them."

A second tear fell down his pale cheek.

"I'm sorry, Mathilde."

"Promise you'll never hurt me like that again, I'm a forgiving person Lukas, but I need your word for it."

"I swear on my immortal life to never hurt you like that again."

She shot him a small, insecure smile, like a teenage passing a smile to her crush in the hallways, not knowing if it was the right move or not.

To Mathilde's delight, her tiny smile was returned.

"Then I love you, but you didn't need me to say that for you to know it."

His arms wrapped around her slender chest, tangling their way around her into a very awkward hug. She didn't care, though, Lukas was new to showing affection to others, she would take whatever she was given.

She smiled into his neck as she hugged him back, listening to him whispering 'I love you's' to her.

They weren't perfect, he was cold and she was obnoxious, but countries are people too, and people aren't perfect.

"Now what's this I hear about you thinking you need to change to get us to love you." He whispered, the two of them still intertwined into a hug.

She felt herself go pale, all except for her cheeks, which went a bright red colour.

"I thought you thought that I was too stupid, loud, ugly, boyish and obnoxious. I thought that was why you all didn't love me." A single tear escaping again. No matter how much she cried it appeared that there was no end to the crying.

"You're a fool, true, but that doesn't mean you're not intelligent. You're loud, but that doesn't mean what you have to say isn't interesting. You're boyish, but you'll always be beautiful and there's nothing wrong with not being a classic girl. And of course you're obnoxious, but that may as well be the reason that I fell in love with you."

"That's not true at all-" She stuttered.

"Oh shut up," he whispered before quickly leaning in and enclosing his mouth on hers before she could say anything else. Both of them weren't experts but somehow the seemed to know what to do, their lips melding together until the need to air was so great that she had to pull away.

She hadn't smiled such a big smile since they had all lived at her house. Her, Norge, Sverige, Island and Finland.

Yes, she thought, we're not perfection, but we're pretty damn close.

 **I loved writing this. Firstly, because I live for the angst but also because Nyo!Denmark deserves more love. I live in Denmark myself but my dad is British so I speak British English, I hope that the spelling doesn't annoy anyone. My computer is set to British English so I'd rather not change all of the spellings, sorry!**


	3. Nightmares

**Nightmares / Fem!Lithuania and Poland / Maybe a bit of Fem!Lithuania and Russia if you squint really hard.**

 **Warning: Russia and Belarus' 'dark sides' are a little OOC in this, but it had to be done.**

It had been long since the last time she felt this panicked.

She tried so hard to breath. In. Out. Just like Estonia had taught her.

It was futile.

Her chest was closing in on her, like the walls in that house.

She still had nightmares about _that house._

In. Out.

 _It's not real Tiesa. You don't have to go back to that place._ She thought, _it's all over._

She stuffed her fist in her mouth, careful not to wake the sleeping man next to her, all of it being too hard to explain.

How could she begin to describe what she felt, she wouldn't be wimpy and cry like she had in the past. She would be strong and she would prove to them that the country of Lithuania didn't need the USSR to be stable.

She was happier now than she had ever been, being in her first proper and healthy relationship in centuries. She was safe.

Then why did she have to feel like this?

Why did her throat have to contract and why did the air need to be sucked out of her lungs every time that she thought of that place?

She would rather die than let Feliks find out that she had PTSD from her time under Soviet control.

So she forced her body to stop convulsing and spasming and made herself lie down, her fist still firmly stuffed in her mouth, too afraid to breathe in the case that she would let out an unforgiving gasp of panic.

She shivered as she laid her head on a salty pillow and forced her eyes to close, blinking out any other traces of wetness that they may have contained.

 _You're pathetic, Tiesa._

* * *

He placed the eggs on the table, a glint of pride evident in his eyes.

She loaded the fork and placed it in her mouth, letting out a moan of satisfaction, giggling slightly as Feliks let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank god!" He exclaimed, "You like it!"

She smiled at him, "Of course I do, what kind of psychopath turns down a home cooked breakfast?"

She cringed at reflex. _Master Russia wouldn't accept anything I cooked for him unless it was cooked to perfection._

Her breath caught in her throat, _stop thinking about him, Tiesa, it's been three years since it all ended, it's over, at least be happy about that._

Feliks didn't seem to notice, he was now dancing around the room in happiness.

She wanted to laugh at his mild childishness as she looked on with a kind of bittersweet smile, she didn't quite feel in that happy mood that she had reveled in just a few moments prior.

She hated herself for doing this to herself, for putting herself through such constant anxiety, but what was she to do. She could not control her emotions.

Suddenly, Poland's happy dance halted and he almost jumped onto the chair opposite her on the table, watching her intently as she ate her eggs.

 _Honestly_ , she thought, _he's like a five-year-old._

That brought back a bit of her smile.

* * *

They were having a picnic, and as horribly cliché as it sounded, Tiesa was having the time of her life.

She was lying under the tree, Feliks entangling tiny little flowers into her dark braid and she smiling up at him.

She needed this, those tiny moments with him where she didn't need to be reminded of anything or anyone, just them.

"Honestly!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the direction of the sky, "How can you be better at all of the 'girly stuff' than me?"

He sniggered and went back to entangling more flowers until her braid looked like a parade was commencing inside of it.

"I think in a past life, I was the hairdresser to some kind of, like, important empress." He said.

Lithuania could help it anymore, she burst out laughing.

"My god! We've been in a relationship for 2 years and yet every morning I wake up next to you and still can't believe that you're not gay!" She laughed, her chest clenching for an entirely different kind of reason this time. A lighter reason. Laughter.

"Honey, I'm bisexual at least, does that do it for you?"

"I don't care what you are or what genders you're attracted to, as long as you always promise to love me." She said, honestly, without barriers.

A comfortable 30-second silence washed over them as they both stared at the rays of light shining through the trees.

"I'll always love you." He stated, making it seem like the simplest thing in the world, and even though he had told her multiple times before that he loved her, this time really hit her.

She rolled over so that she was facing him and slung her arms around his midsection, clutching tightly onto it, forcing him into a close hug.

She smiled into his t-shirt, not remembering the last time she had felt so light and carefree, she would savour this moment when the nights got hard again.

"Good," She said. "You better keep that promise, pinky swear on it."

"I pinky swear."

* * *

" _Lithuania!" She heard him shout, bolting her upright, the shrill sound so piercing that she felt as though it could have snapped her spine in half._

" _Y-Yes?" She replied, scurrying into the dining room where he sat with his sisters._

" _Take Belarus to the shops to buy her a new dress, she needs it for the ball tonight." Russia said, his smile making her feel uncomfortable._

" _Yes, sir!" She said, bowing sharply and walking towards Belarus, who was standing in the corner with a scowl painted across her visage._

 _Russia made her uneasy; he was a handsome man, no denying that, but his childlike psychopathy made her feel as though he was going to snap at any second without an inkling of warning._

 _She always hated it when that happened, he would always put the blame on her._

 _She was his favourite after all, meaning that he oddly enjoyed hurting her._

 _His sick ways of showing affection made her shudder._

" _Follow me, Miss Belarus." She said, after reaching the pale woman._

 _Belarus' scowl deepened, "I know my way out of my own house. I'm not an imbecile"_

 _She turned around, her silver hair dangling behind her, and walked out._

 _As mesmerising as Belarus was for Lithuania, it didn't stop her from always recoiling from her presence._

 _She was brutally insane, and no amount of ethereal beauty could change that, even Russia saw it._

 _Russia gave a chuckle before giving Lithuania a look that could have only been described as 'what are you waiting for, go after her'._

 _So she did, scurrying behind Belarus like a puppy._

 _As soon as they were out of the house with the door closed, decked in coats upon coats in the unforgiving Moscow winter, Belarus turned to look at Tiesa and snarled, the cold kind of snarl that would leave you shivering._

 _The kind of snarl that even her pretty face couldn't make attractive._

" _Listen, Lithuania, I don't know who you think you are, looking at my Ivan like that but-"_

" _I don't u-understand!" She exclaimed._

" _Don't act all innocent and coy, you want my brother. Well, newsflash! He's mine! He'll never be yours!"_

 _A look of rage washed over her face, making her look almost demented._

" _I don't want him!" Lithuania whispered frantically to Belarus, shrinking away from her._

" _Bullshit! You bitch!" Screamed Belarus, "He'll never want you, you're lowly and pathetic and-"_

 _Lithuania didn't know what overcame her, was it bravery or stupidity? No matter what it was, she found her hand flying dangerously close to Belarus' face before it came into contact with a deafeningly loud smack._

 _There was silence five seconds, both of them processing what had happened before the demented look came back to Belarus' face, more prominent and deadly that ever._

 _In a split second, Natalya had Tiesa pinned up against the wall, both of her hands forced over her head._

 _Tiesa let out a small whimper, her eyes betraying the strength that she had been trying so hard to contain._

 _Natalya let out a near inhuman growl, followed by a chilling giggle._

" _Oh, you're in for it," She whispered. "I'll make you pay for this."_

" _Please. Stop." Lithuania pleaded._

" _You need to know where you stand in this house, I'll make sure of it."_

 _She slapped Tiesa harshly, making her whimper again._

" _Just wait until Ivan gets to you."_

 _Belarus smirked and walked back into the house, leaving Lithuania slumped against the wall, a stray tear running down her face._

* * *

She sat up in bed again, the memories flashing in front of her like a broken film.

She really did get in trouble with Ivan after that, but she didn't want to think about it anymore.

She heard rustling next to her in the bed, Poland's eyes flitting open.

He murmured something unintelligible before sitting up next to her in the bed.

"What are you doing up so early?" He whispered.

"I had a bad dream."

"About what?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It clearly does."

He reached out, touching her cheek.

"Are you crying?" He asked, feeling the moistness on her cheek.

"No." She said, with hesitation.

"You're lying." He told her, his eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room. "Your face is all blotchy."

"You're interrogating me, stop it."

"I promised you that I would always love you, but I need you to promise me that you'll always trust me. With anything and everything."

There was a long silence, neither daring to say a thing.

"I trust you with my life, is that not enough?" She asked.

"Please." He pleaded.

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"That you'll think I'm pathetic." She mumbled.

"You'll never be pathetic to me," he smiled at her, "Never, ever."

"Them, I'm still scared of them." She disclosed.

"Them?"

"Ivan, Natalya. I can't get them out of my head."

She let out a sob, clutching her chest.

He immediately flung his arms around her, letting her burrow her head into his shoulder.

"Shh…"

Her sobs grew louder and louder, his hand running through her hair on one of the odd occasions where her long brown hair wasn't in a braid.

"I'm s-s-sorry!" She gasped.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, we're all a little scared of them, but they're harmless really."

"Ivan and Natalya, Feliks you don't know them like I do, they're n-not h-harmless."

"Well it shouldn't matter, I'll protect you."

"You're a cheesy piece of crap, do you know th-that Feliks?"

"What else am I here for?"

* * *

 _Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia sat huddled in blankets next to each other just like they did every other night in January._

 _It was pathetic, the three of them had once been powerful, yet here there were shivering in the servant's quarters of Russia's house._

 _Cold. Cold. Cold._

 _The blankets were too thin for the season but the financial situation in the USSR was depleting, money was scarce so they were forced to stick with their summer duvets during the harsh winter._

 _It was getting to be too much._

 _They couldn't do this for much longer._

 _Eduard was the first to suggest the ludicrous idea._

" _You need to ask him." He said, shivering under 3 blankets he had piled on top of each other._

" _No. Never."_

" _P-P-Please!" Raivis stuttered, teeth chattering. "You're the only one of us that he loves."_

" _He has a funny way of showing it." She said._

" _It won't hurt to ask…"_

 _She groaned at the mere thought of it, but somehow she found herself creeping down the stairs only minutes later towards the direction to Russia's room._

 _She knocked the door thrice, so quietly that it was hardly audible._

 _In some sense she really hoped that he wouldn't hear her, that she could go back upstairs and say that she tried._

" _Да?" he said, "Come in?"_

 _Her hand trembled as she turned the doorknob to let herself in._

" _Ah, Litva. What are you doing here?" He asked, a small smile crossing his face._

" _I-I-I…" Her words fell short, betraying her._

" _Hmm? I can't hear you." He said, patronising her._

" _I-I… Estonia, Latvia, and I… we… we…"_

" _You what?"_

" _We were wondering... if we could get some new blankets… upstairs…"_

" _Whyever would you need that? I thought that we supplied you new blankets just last year?"_

 _She gulped, taking a step back every time that he took a step towards her, until she was backed up against the wall with his frame towering over her._

" _Th-those were summer blankets." She stammered._

" _You're so pretty when you're scared Litva, but I always admired your courage. Where did it go? You're acting like your brother, and you know what I think of him." He whispered to her, his face getting closer with every sentence that he said._

" _We only wanted blankets."_

" _I can fix that problem for you." A strange gleam came across his eyes._

" _You can?" She said, her eyes widening in disbelief._

" _Да, of course I can, I am Russia am I not?"_

 _She felt like laughing, a large smile breaking across her face._

" _Come and stay here, in my room, with me!" He breathed out, like a child looking at that toy that he so desperately wanted from the store._

 _The smile fell from her face almost immediately._

 _No._

 _This wasn't what she wanted._

 _Not at all._

 _She didn't want to give him ideas._

" _What?" She asked, he had to be bluffing._

" _I think I made myself perfectly clear, no?" His face was coming closer, and closer, and closer, and-_

 _She instinctively turned her head to the side, blocking him._

" _What the matter, Litva? Isn't this what you wanted, warm sheets and security?"_

 _She felt like crying, this was not the situation that she wanted to be in yet she didn't know how to get out._

" _I think you mis-misunderstood m-me…" her voice trailing off into oblivion as she spoke._

 _Damn it, the stuttering was coming back._

 _Ivan chuckled._

" _No, I didn't misunderstand you. Think of this in a logical sense. You get what you want and I get what I want. It's a simple transaction between the two of us."_

" _What about my brothers?"_

" _Your brothers will live, it's not them that I want here, with me."_

 _She felt panic rising in her chest, the claustrophobia of being shoved into the corner by a big, looming man was too much for her to handle._

 _She slid onto her knees, hugging them to her chest, squeezing her eyes shut so that she could pretend that she wasn't in her current 'predicament'._

 _Russia bent down to her eye level, looking at her as though he was staring straight through her, studying her._

" _You'd be stupid passing this opportunity up."_

 _She whimpered from her spot on the floor._

" _But if you're not going to say yes to my offer," he said, looking disappointed, "it looks like you should go back upstairs."_

" _I'm sorry, Mr. Russia."_

" _It's not like it matters anyway, I still have all of the time in the world to make sure that we become one."_

 _She sprang up and ran out of the room as fast as her legs could take her, practically jumping up from the stairs._

 _She flung the door to the servant's quarters open, being greeted by achingly hopeful faces looking at her._

" _He said no." She said, no emotion of feeling in the tone of her voice._

 _Eduard and Raivis slumped down into the nest of sheets they had tried to construct and curled into themselves, not even bothering to sigh in disappointment._

 _It wasn't like they were expecting anything from Ivan._

 _However, Tiesa waited until the two of them had definitely fallen asleep before she climbed onto her mattress and let the tears flow, letting horrible, aching coughs racking her body._

 _The cold and the panic felt like all that she could feel._

* * *

She continued sobbing into Feliks' shoulder until her tears ran dry and her chest stopped heaving.

It turned out that Russia 'love for her' wasn't as real as he thought, more of a fixation or obsession with an unattainable girl that he had mistaken for it. Not long after the fall of the USSR, he moved swiftly onto China, putting all of his obsessive tendencies onto him instead, much to the displeasure of Natalya.

And even though she knew Ivan's obsession was misplaced on her, she couldn't shake the pandemonium of emotions that she felt as she was cooped up in that little room with him on that January night.

And she couldn't help but wonder what her life would have looked like right now if she had accepted his offer.

She looked up at Feliks, and although the light in the room was minimal she could clearly see him smiling down at her like she was the only thing that mattered.

For the first time that night, placing her forehead on his, she smiled back, clinging onto him tightly from her position on his lap.

No matter what her life would have looked like if she had stayed with Russia that night, she would have bet her life that it wouldn't have felt near as good, loving or real as her relationship with Poland.

He kissed her, gently, as though she were made of glass and would break if he pressed too hard.

She retaliated by kissing back a little harder, but still somewhat guardedly.

The way he kissed her wasn't lustful or forcing, kissing her almost the way that two teenagers kissed for the first time, and although this certainly wasn't their first kiss it still had the qualities of it.

Like two best friends kissing, because that was what they were.

Best friends over anything else, and although they had been lovers for quite some time, it was always their friendship that came first.

Because what would they do without each other?

The nightmares wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, but that was all that they were, were they not?

Nightmares, fiction in her head, not pleasant but manageable.

She had her coping mechanisms, they would get through this together.

 **I loved writing this chapter, I found the flashback scenes so interesting yet challenging to write.**

 **It sorry for making Russia and Belarus the 'villains', though, I know that that can be a lot of people's pet peeve, but I just needed to have some sort of obstacle to complete the story and it was just the most logical. I promise to write something about these characters in a positive light, though, since I love these characters so much, we just have to wait a bit.**

 **It was the only way that was historically accurate (and when it's not a Human AU I want them to be historically accurate) to give her PTSD for it to fit with the story. I couldn't just have her forming PTSD for a stupid reason, that would bug me even more than an OOC character.**

 **Also, I got the inspiration for this short story from Nyotalia Headcanons on tumblr, I love her account and it's perfect for fighting my writer's block.**

 **If anyone has any requests for what they want the next one shot to be just either drop me a PM or request in a review, I'd love to hear from you.**


	4. The Orphan

**AN\\\ A few 'notices'. I just wanted to point out a few things (all good, I promise ;))**

 **I know that Norway is a little OOC in the first chapter and I think I knew that even whilst I was writing it, but I just thought 'meh', mostly because he was only really a supporting character, but now it's really starting to bug me. Thanks so much to the person who reviewed saying that though, I know a lot of people say that they love criticism just to not seem picky and annoying but I ACTUALLY enjoy constructive criticism and I actually go back and edit things to make them better.**

 **I'm probably going to go back and edit that since I have a way better way for him to act now that I've thought it over.**

 **Also, yup, Russia is OOC in the last chapter, but I put my reasoning for that and stand by it, so I'm not gonna edit that. Still, though, Russia is my baby and I hate writing him like that but it had to be done. Just in case anyone is wondering, though, I'm currently planning a chapter involving him where he'll be in a way more positive light, same with Belarus, I just felt like I needed to give Fem!Lithuania an actual reason to have PTSD and not just that she was around some 'creepy' people for a bit.**

 **Last note: If you have any suggestions or headcanons that you want to be written, just leave it to me in a review, I'm totally open to anything (as long as it's not smut (because I'll never be able to write that so I'm not even going to try) or too gruesome, because I'm not going to be the next author of 'The Danish Slaughterhouse'... sorry)**

 **Ps. The beginning of this chapter is cheesy but… I'm terrible at writing children, still working on it.**

 **Pairing: Fem!America and England, Human AU\\\ This chapter is super long… Just warning you. I love this plotline, though. I might go back and cut certain scenes out, though, it feels a little clunky at points.**

* * *

A little girl sat alone on the bed, no older than 4, counting the minutes until her Momma and Poppa would be coming back to collect her from that atrocious hospital.

It reeked of cleanliness and organisation.

Amelia was confused as to what was taking her parents so long; over 3 days had passed since the accident.

The doctors had tried to tell Amelia that her parents had passed away in the same accident that she had sustained multiple injuries from but she refused to listen, going into a state of denial and frenzy.

Her tiny mind couldn't comprehend what had happened so it felt easier for her to deny.

So for that reason, the doctors had decided to wait to tell her about the fate of her family until she was properly healed and not going to harm herself anymore, and Amelia kept counting the minutes until Momma and Poppa would be coming. She hoped that it wouldn't take them long.

* * *

The next week, Amelia's nurse, Nurse Jenny, escorted her to a big house, informing her that this house would be her new home for a bit before they found her a new Momma and Poppa.

"I don't want a new Momma and Poppa!" She screamed, before walking into the house, tears running down her face, "I want MY Momma and Poppa, and

I don't care WHAT you say! They're going to come and get me, so all of this is a \

waste of time!"

"Oh Amelia, honey, you know that I really like you don't you?" Said Nurse Jenny, bending on her knees until she was the same height as the little hysterical girl.

Amelia slowly nodded.

"Because I do," reassured Nurse Jenny, "but all of these tears need to stop. All of the kids here know how it feels to be alone, take solace in that. This place will do you good."

Amelia didn't know what solace meant, the word was a little too big and professional for her liking, but she shook her head anyways.

"But they don't still have a Momma and Poppa waiting for them like I do!"

Nurse Jenny sighed, running out of ideas on how she could stabilise the child quickly.

"You'll make friends here."

"I already have friends,"

"You could make more though," she said.

"Fine, as long as you promise that you'll call my Momma and Poppa to pick me up at the end of the day."

Amelia watched as Nurse Jenny looked a little sad for a moment, but the melancholy on her face soon evaporated and Nurse Jenny gave Amelia her hand, which she clung onto, and led her into the house.

Before you could see any of her new 'friends', a tall man came up to her and offered her a hand.

She cautiously gave it to him, which he then shook as he smiled.

"Hi there, Amelia! I'm Julius, but everyone here just calls me Grandpa Rome!"

Amelia eyes the man up and down. He clearly wasn't a Grandpa.

"You're too young to be a Grandpa! You're what? 25?"

'Grandpa Rome' chuckled at her.

"I'm not actually a Grandpa Amelia, I'm more like… your new Papa! I take care of all of the kids here an-"

"You're not my Poppa!" Amelia cried out, shocked that this man was trying to take her father's place. "My Poppa's not gone!"

The tears started spurting out of the eyes, and both Nurse Jenny and 'Grandpa' Rome seemed to be at a loss of what to do.

Julius had dealt with a lot of crying children before, but he had never dealt with children that denied their parent's deaths.

"Amelia, I don't have to be your new father if you don't want me too, what I meant was that I'll act like your father… before your real Poppa… comes and collects you."

He felt terrible, giving this little girl hope that they would return, but he needed her to calm down.

He could tell her the truth later.

Amelia smiled an odd sort of teary smile, took his hand and followed him into the main room, where he had told all of the children to sit to welcome Amelia into their house.

As soon as she entered her eyed widened into a look of awe.

Wow! She thought, there were so many different children here, of all different ages and races.

Being born and raised in a small town in Wyoming meant that she never saw any other children that didn't look like her, but there?

There, everyone looked different, and she noticed that when they opened their mouths they all sounded different too.

"Hola!" A little boy came up to her, bouncing in what she could only assume was excitement, "I'm Antonio!"

The boy didn't look much older than her, if anything he was five or six, but the second he reached her he gave her a huge hug.

Amelia was confused, but slowly began to hug back, she hadn't hugged anyone in days.

"You sound funny!" She giggled.

"I am from Spain, mi amiga!"

Amelia didn't know what that meant, she didn't even know where 'Spain' was. Is it some place in South America?

She went along with it, though, wherever this imaginary country was it meant that he spoke funny.

She liked it.

"Alright Antonio, don't pounce on her, you weirdo!" Came another voice, equally just as funny.

"Arthur! Stop it! I'm not a weirdo!"

"Yes, you are!"

'Arthur' was a blond boy with green eyes who talked a little like the queen, and he looked to be around 7.

Antonio huffed and walked away, hopping back onto the sofa with all of the other kids crammed onto it.

"I'm Arthur," he said, sticking his hand out to her.

Amelia looked at him with awe for a moment.

Woah! He was grown up!

Amelia gave him a smile, her face still a little wet from her previous crying session but she didn't care, she had a friend.

* * *

Two weeks later Amelia finally faced the truth that her Momma and Poppa weren't going to come and get her.

She felt like her world had ended.

Grandpa Rome had taken her into her new bedroom and sat her down on the bed as he held her hand and told her what had happened to them, and even though she had heard the same thing by the doctors before she actually believed it this time.

And it was devastating.

She didn't really cry, she just went numb; she guessed that she should have seen it coming.

She stopped attending mealtimes, playing with her friends during playtime, forming sentences longer than three words and brushing her hair.

Instead, she just curled up with a snuggly bear and stared out of the window.

Julius was worried. He was so pleased with how well she had adjusted prior to his talk with her and now it felt like all of the effort he had put into making her social was being thrown down the drain.

"Grandpa Rome?" asked a small voice with a very distinguishable accent.

"Yes, Arthur?" he replied, turning his head down to meet his line of vision.

"Can I go up and talk to Amelia? I haven't seen her in a while."

He sighed; now wasn't the best time for the others to see her, she was a state.

"Listen, kiddo, she's feeling a little dow-"

"Please, Grandpa Rome! We're worried about her!" He pleaded, and Julius turned to look at the doorway, where Antonio stood, along with a couple other kids, all wearing the same pouty expression.

"I'm sorry."

Tears looked as though they were welling up in Arthur's eyes and he immediately felt terrible.

"P-P-Please…"

"Oh fine! Don't say anything too difficult to her, though, okay?"

A smile lit up his face as he went in to hug him, but he only reached Julius' waist so it ended with his just hugging one of his legs.

Before Julius could say anything else, Arthur had bounced up the stairs, promising to tell the other kids what she had said.

* * *

Amelia was lying in bed when she heard a knock on her door.

"Go away!" She shouted in the general direction of the door, hugging her teddy closer to her chest.

"PLEASE AMELIA! Open the door!"

It was Arthur and Amelia had sort of missed him in her time locked up in her room.

"Why are you here?" she asked, a little more quietly this time.

"I want to talk," he said, "I'm worried about you…"

There was silence from both Amelia and Arthur's sides before Arthur knocked on the door again.

"If you don't let me in then I'll tell Grandpa Rome that you… that you… that you bit me!"

Amelia gasped. He wouldn't dare.

"You're so immature!" She shouted through the door, as she slowly began to open it.

Arthur came in with a smug look on his face.

"It worked, though, and you're not allowed to call me immature! You're practically still a baby."

She crossed her arms in outrage, a look of pure anger crossing her visage.

"No, I'm not, I'm four years old! Babies aren't four!"

"Well, I'm seven, so that means that I've lived three more years than you, which makes me smarter and better."

"Maybe you're older, but that doesn't make you better!"

He paused for a second. "Agree to disagree?" He said, sticking out his hand in a form of truce.

She reluctantly took it, disdain clear on her features.

She took a moment to study him. He looked as though he was amused, something that was highly inappropriate after such a 'heated debate', he was still wearing his favourite union jack pyjamas and he was holding a box of cereal in one hand.

"Why are you holding a box of Lucky Charms?" She asked, tilting her head to one side.

"Because," he said, "you didn't come down to breakfast, so I brought breakfast to you."

Despite everything that she felt regarding her parents, she couldn't help but let her face break into a smile.

"Cereal without milk?" She asked.

"Anything is possible."

* * *

He held her hand all of the way to the school gate as they walked with Grandpa Rome and some of the other kids.

She wasn't the only one starting school from the group home but she still felt like she was walking into it alone.

Arthur was nine now and far more experienced when it came to school than she was, so she blindly followed him.

"It's alright, Amelia, 1st grade isn't hard at all, all of the kids are in the same boat. They don't know anyone either, so you're bound to make loads of friends."

Amelia looked at all of the kids being kissed goodbye by their parents, instantly feeling a pang of melancholy.

"But they all have-"

"Parents," He finished for her, "I know."

She had accepted the death of her parents around a month after she had arrived, but that didn't make her day to day life more of a struggle.

He stopped speaking for a moment, staring off into space as though he was thinking of the perfect thing to say.

"But if I can do it, then so can you."

Her confidence was instantly boosted, as she then turned her head to see Grandpa Rome staring down at both of them with a mixture between a smirk and a smile.

* * *

The first time they properly fought was when she was 8 and he was 11. They had long since established themselves as an odd sort of best friends and brother and sister within the home, but Arthur wanted some space.

"I don't know why you have to follow me around all the time!" He said after his school friends had gone home.

"But I only wanted to play!" She said, defending herself and her actions.

"That doesn't mean that you can just come in and take Gilbert's controller away from him whilst he's still playing!"

"But he said that he'd be done in a minute, I counted all the way up to sixty!"

"Yes, yet he clearly wasn't done, was he!"

Amelia couldn't really argue with that one.

"But I only wanted to play," she said, referring back to her original argument.

"God! You're so immature! Why can't you let me have other friends!"

She was taken aback, he had never said that he wanted other friends. Was she not enough?

"I'm not immature! Don't call me that!"

"That's an immature counter-argument, you're proving yourself wrong!"

"Then why can't I just be friends with your friends?"

"Because the other guys think that you're annoying and that you talk too much, they're probably right!"

There was an awkward silence between them for a few seconds before Arthur backtracked.

"Wait, Amelia! I didn't mean that! It's not true! I don't think that you're annoying!"

But by that point she was already gone, running up the stairs into her room, slamming the door shut behind her.

* * *

A few minutes later she heard a knock on the door, and despite how upset she was, she still opened the door.

"I'm sorry…" He said, the second the door was opened.

He was carrying a box of cereal and two bowls, even though he brought no milk with him.

"It's not true… is it?" She asked, sniffing loudly.

"Of course it's not. I was angry… embarrassed… I didn't mean it."

"Are you embarrassed by me? Because I'm littler than you?"

"I'll never be embarrassed by you."

* * *

14-year-old Amelia was sick of it.

He was scaring off any and every boy that even dared to look at her.

She was never going to get a boyfriend with him pouncing on guys just for saying hi.

He insisted on walking her to class almost every time, and he would wait outside of her classroom until the bell rang.

Her friends didn't seem to mind, though, since they got to get a glimpse of the 'hot senior guy with the accent'.

It was oddly unsettling to her, this obsession that the girls seemed to have with him, he certainly wasn't the only foreign student in the school yet he seemed to be the most talked about.

She felt like she wanted to gag every time that she heard a girl talk about his 'dreamy eyes'.

Every time someone would say something about his 'sexy voice'.

Every time someone said something about his 'hot bod'-

No, she wasn't even going to go there.

He was her best friend, like her brother, it all felt wrong.

* * *

"But he's always there! How can I get anyone's attention with Arthur standing beside me like a piece of fucking fungus." She complained, the four of them sitting on a mattress in Mei's room.

"Have you seen him! I would not describe him as fungus." Joked Emma (Belgium), making Amelia cringe at the sheer thought.

"It can't be that bad!" Exclaimed Mei.

"You don't know the half of it!" She cried, "He literally wanted to put a tracking device on me to make sure that I wasn't going to sneak out with some guy!"

"It's kind of hot, though," said Katyusha, "don't deny it."

"But you don't get it!"

"I wouldn't be complaining." Said Emma.

"Yeah, I sure you wouldn't, but you're not the one getting awkward sex-ed talks from him about 'how everything has consequences' and 'it's best just to wait'."

Again, cringe.

The girls giggled as if this was some kind of a joke!

"I'm a freshman in high school, not a stripper!"

Their giggles turned into full on laughs as she just sulked at the sight of it.

Honestly.

* * *

Arthur was out on a school trip today, taking English lectures at the local college. Finally, peace and quiet.

Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder as she was taking her books out of her locker.

"Amelia! I thought that was you!" Came a thick French accent.

It was Francis, a Junior boy who ran the French Cooking Club.

"Oh! It's you!" She was surprised, they had only spoken once or twice and he had made it very clear that he only spoke to her to get on Arthur's nerves, especially since the two boys had made it very clear that they were NOT friends.

"Of course it's me!"

"So…?"

"Oh!" He said, realising that he had to give a 'reason' to talk to her, "I was wondering where 'mon petit ami' Arthur could be today!"

She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.

"Ok, ok, you got me. He's not really 'mon ami'."

"Clearly." She whispered under her breath.

"Huh?" He asked, "What was that? I didn't quite catch you."

"It's nothing, why do you want to know where he is?"

"No reason."

"I know that's not true; If you're gonna do something to rile him up then you should just come clean with it."

"Aren't you two friends?" He asked.

"I'm pissed at him, so at the moment, no!"

He sniggered, a thought clearly crossing his mind.

"Does he know that you're 'pissed at him'," He asked, smirking.

"...Maybe not." She admitted.

"You want revenge?" He suggested, smirk widening.

This Frenchman had good ideas.

* * *

The plan was simple enough, Amelia would invite Francis to the home for dinner, just to get Arthur riled up, and when he would come to confront her about inviting him he would walk into the two of them kissing on her bed.

It was genius. Francis would achieve his goal of toying with Arthur and Amelia would show Arthur that she was a big girl now and could make her own choices, so she didn't need him chaperoning her, ruining her high-school experiences.

So after they had all sat down for dinner and waiting for Arthur to walk in through the door she was practically shaking with nerves and excitement.

Francis' smirk hadn't dropped since she had agreed to the plan, so now she had just accepted it as a part of his usual facial features.

Grandpa Rome and Francis were engaged in a 'fascinating' discussion about their shared upbringing by the Mediterranean sea, all of the other kids, younger and older, hanging onto every word he said like it was made of gold, as Arthur walked into the dining hall, still wearing his coat which was slightly damp from the rain outside.

"Sorry I'm late Grandpa Rome, there was traffic-"

He halted his sentence, looking Francis up and down before suddenly deciding to reopen his mouth.

"What is he doing here?" He said, his voice wavering between angry and the coldest tone he could muster.

"Amelia invited me." He replied joyfully, clearly having the time of his life.

"You what!" He said through clenched teeth, directed at Amelia.

"I thought he told you himself."

"Grandpa Rome, we're not allowed to invite kids over on a Wednesday."

Grandpa Rome looked slightly taken aback; why would Arthur have a problem with such as nice boy?

"I've never met any of Amelia's friends, especially not a boyfriend! I thought I would make an exception!"

"BOYFRIEND!" He practically screamed.

Amelia wanted to giggle but she kept it suppressed, but one look at Francis showed that he wasn't doing as well when it came to that as her.

He was laughing like a maniac.

Arthur looked livid, angrier than she had ever seen him in her life.

"Amelia, outside. Now!" He shouted, the little kids in the room clearly shaken, one starting to cry.

"Arthur! Don't shout in the dining room! Would you look at that, you made Peter cry." Scolded Grandpa Rome, walking over to young Peter to lift him up.

Arthur punched the wall in frustration, his hand beginning to bleed as he stormed out of the room.

"Phase two of the plan." Whispered Francis.

She nodded, asking to leave the table, which Grandpa Rome agreed to.

She sneaked them both upstairs, tiptoeing past Arthur who was tending to his hand in the kitchen, hopping up the stairs to her room.

They entered the room, making sure that the door was left fully open for Arthur to catch them.

But now it was just them in the room and he clearly had a lot more experience than her, she hadn't even had her first kiss.

Suddenly they heard feet stomping up the stairs and she didn't even have time to think if this was who she wanted to give her first kiss to ask Francis simply said "now" and enclosed his lips on hers.

It wasn't as terrible as she was expecting, especially now that she had realised that despite being a total and utter douche to Arthur, Francis wasn't actually that bad a guy.

Yeah, he was weird and flirty, but Amelia couldn't see why Arthur and him and hated each other so much.

It still wasn't great, though.

Even though it wasn't sloppy or gross, she felt nothing for him and if anything she felt disappointed that her first kiss ended up like this.

You won't get another kiss if you let Arthur control your life, she thought.

The footsteps were approaching her room now and she was bracing herself for the inevitable fight between the two of them, so it didn't really come as a surprise when she finally felt Francis being dragged physically off of her by a fuming Brit.

What came as a surprise, however, was the punch that Arthur threw at him.

"What the fuck Arthur!" She screamed, "What are you doing!"

"I could be asking you the same! You're meant to be my best friend!"

"I could say the same! Yet you don't trust me!"

"I clearly can't trust you! Any boy in the school, Amelia, and you chose him. He's an arse! And you!" He exclaimed, turning to the French boy on the floor "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

"I think she wants me to stay," he said slyly, despite nursing a newly forming black eye.

Amelia sighed, "You've had your fun Francis, as much as I hate to say it, he's right. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Francis walked out of the room, covering his bruised eye with his hand.

"No, you won't," Arthur said, sternly.

"What?"

"Talk to him tomorrow, you won't talk to him tomorrow."

"I'll talk to whoever the fuck I want!" She shouted; this was ridiculous.

"Language, Amelia!" He reprimanded.

"See! This is what I'm sick of! You're treating me like I'm a child!"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Fine! You're not a child!" He admitted. "But that doesn't mean that you're not too young to have some creep shag you!"

"You think that that was what we were doing."

"It's what I gathered."

"It's not what we were doing."

"Maybe you didn't think that it was, but he? God knows what he was thinking."

There was silence.

"I'm my own person." She said, a little quieter but with just as much confidence.

"I know, and that scares me," he said, in the meekest and quietest voice she had ever heard come from his mouth.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't follow me around all the time like you used to, and I can't help but think that you don't love me anymore!"

"I'll never not love you, you're my best friend."

"Then w-why..." he stuttered, pausing to regain his breath. "Why, out of every boy in the world, did you have to choose him?"

"I haven't chosen him…"

"Well clearly you have, you were snogging his bloody frog face off just a minute ago!"

He was getting angry again, Amelia couldn't have that. She had to tell him the truth.

"It was a plan you dolt! I wanted you to see me as a young adult, not a child, and I think that he just wanted to piss you off… We're not dating. I don't even like him"

They both sat on the bed, not saying a thing.

"What a cruel plan," he finally said, causing a wave of guilt to wash over her.

"I know, and I'm sorry, I just needed to prove my point. I needed space."

"I know you do. I'm sorry that I didn't give it to you, but was this really the right way?"

"No." She admitted, only just seeing it for herself then. "Am I forgiven?"

"Ask me again in half an hour… Am I?"

"Ask me in half an hour."

* * *

It was his second year in college.

He was gone.

She was a junior.

She was lonely.

Sure, she had Antonio, but he seemed more interested in the feisty Italian boy who had joined the house last year.

His departure had forced her to be a little more friendly to many of the kids she lived with, but no one seemed to really click with her, probably because in everyone in the home saw her as Arthur's best friend, not as Amelia.

So she practically jumped out of her chair when she heard the doorbell ring, signaling his arrival.

Before Grandpa Rome could even get to the door she flung it open and was in his arms.

Arthur laughed, the kind of laugh she had missed. His laugh didn't sound the same over skype.

He hugged back even harder, lifting her up off of the ground.

After he had set her down he went to Grandpa Rome to give him a hug too.

"We've missed you." He said.

"I've missed you all too."

An onslaught of kids and teenagers came to the door to greet him including Antonio, who was proudly showing off the Italian boy.

"Arthur, you bastard! I've missed you, amigo! Meet my boyfriend, Lovino!"

The Italian looked disgusted.

"I'm not your boyfriend, idiot! Fucking bastard," he exclaimed, before returning to the living room, seemingly to play Halo on Xbox.

"...Real keeper you've got there?" Arthur half-asked.

"You'll find that his charm is to be found on the inside." Said the 17-year-old Spaniard with a smile, before returning to his 'boyfriend'.

Once they had all gone, Arthur dragged her up to her room before closing the door firmly shut.

She gave him a look of bewilderment before he smirked and pulled out a box of lucky charms from his bag.

She didn't know whether to laugh at the hilarity of it all or cry at the wave of nostalgia that hit her like 10 tsunamis at once.

"God I've missed you…" she said, as he opened the pack of cereal.

The smirk fell into a sort of more subdued, soft smile.

"I've missed you too."

"How's London, is it exactly how you remembered it?"

He sighed, before taking off his shoes and hopping onto her bed.

"I was young when I left, I can hardly remember it. We moved when I was 6 and then two weeks after we arrived Mum and Dad both died. It's beautiful, though, stunning. I'll take you one day."

"You will?"

"Of course. You can meet all of my Uni mates."

She had never even left America, and despite having so many European friends, Europe had just always seemed out of the question.

"I would love to."

His face broke into another smile.

"Come on, you crazy person, give me another hug." He said, before forcing her onto her own bed, hugging her senseless.

She had missed his hugs.

He rolled her over mid-hug before he heard something crunch and spill out underneath them.

He immediately broke their hug, cursing at the Lucky Charms that had spilled out of the packet all over her bed.

She laughed and he looked confused.

"It's not a biggie!" She assured, "We'll clean it up later! For now just come back to the hu-"

Suddenly she felt lips on her, tasting of coffee and Lucky Charms.

Her eyes widened in shock, her entire body frozen as he kissed her, overpowering her senses.

But there was something that she had never felt before.

A cliché spark.

Shit.

She loved him.

He broke away, clearly equally as shocked with his own actions, turning red.

"I'm so-so- sorry, I…" He looked down at the ground. "I thought that maybe you. Oh! It sounds stupid now."

"You kissed me."

"Clearly." He clarified, embarrassed.

"Do it again."

"Huh?"

"Again, kiss me again."

He seemed relieved, his face decreasing in redness a little as she touched their lips again.

Eventually, she relaxed into the kiss, her body instinctively deepening it.

His hand came up to cup her cheek and her arms went around her neck, before he broke it off, in need of air.

"I love you." He said, their foreheads touching, not even realising what he had said.

She responded with the tightest hug that he had ever received, almost cutting off his blood circulation.

"Ditto" she whispered.

Classic Amelia, he thought, she had just received a love confession and she had to reply with American slang.

It's not as though he minded, though.

He chuckled into the hug.

"You're not going to find some hot British chick at University in London and forget all about me, are you?"

"You have no faith in me."

"Promise me."

"I promise you."

 **Fin.**

* * *

 **AN\\\ So… this was… long. It was not meant to be this long but the more I wrote the more ideas I started forming. I hope that no one found this boring; I kind of struggled because I didn't want to pace to go too fast so I wanted to show lots of snapshots of them growing up, but at the same time I didn't want to have too many snapshots because they get boring.**

 **I just thought that this idea was cute, but because I had so many ideas that I just had to get on the page I sort of rushed.**

 **I was certainly not planning on writing 6k words for this chapter.**

 **I hope you liked it, though!**


	5. Loneliness

**I haven't updated in about a week and a half so… sorry! Also, I've updated the DenNor chapter with the edited version, the old version was bugging me so I made a few tiny adjustments. Hopefully Norway doesn't seen OOC anymore.**

 **I did promise at the end of the PoLiet chapter that I would write a chapter where Russia was NOT OOC, since I know that OOC Russia bugs not only me but loads of other people. But, also, I mean, I was going to write something more fluffy and lighthearted like this anyway, especially since all of the chapters (with the exception of the last one) are pretty heavy on the angst.**

 **Paring: RoFem!Chu.**

 **Summary: The USSR has been abolished and Ivan is feeling lonely, but as it turns out, so is Yanmei.**

 **Disclaimer: Not only do I not own Hetalia but I'm also not an expert in this area of history, so I'm sorry if I get any facts wrong.**

It was the 2nd of January 1992. Seven days had passed since the USSR had been abolished. Seven. Long. Days.

Ivan hadn't moved from bed for approximately 2 days, give or take a few trips to the toilet, making the few servants he had left fetch him food and water.

Most of them had fled with the Baltics as soon as the news came out of the abolition.

Was he really that bad? That bad that people who he had considered to be amongst his best friends would leave him as soon as they could?

He was too afraid to go outside, to face the headlines on the newspapers or face the people around him.

A total and utter recluse.

It wasn't only the Baltics who had fled, Moldova was also long gone, and although she hadn't 'fled', so to speak, Ukraine took the first ticket home, kissing him on the cheek before ultimately leaving him alone.

He still had Belarus, and as thankful as he was for her presence there was a slight awkwardness around them.

They only spoke at mealtimes, Belarus had taken a break in regards to the marriage proposals, and they averted eye contact when they saw each other in the halls.

If they even saw each other.

She may as well have left with the rest of them, especially since her emotional unavailability and haunting beauty made her seem more like a ghost lurking the hallways than a sister.

* * *

On the 5th of January he finally picked himself up from the sofa, forcing himself into the shower and eat at the table with his sister.

The silence at the table was so deafening that it could burst an eardrum.

"So…" she said, lifting her head to meet his eye contact. "We need to talk."

"Don't tell me you're going to leave too." He murmured, swirling his whisky in his glass.

She seemed taken aback, physically flinching.

"No!" She exclaimed, "I'm not going to leave you Big Brother! I wouldn't ever!"

"Good."

"...We still need to talk though."

"Then talk," he said, harshly and blatantly.

"I just wanted to say that a lot of things have happened and-"

"Oh, wow! I hadn't noticed! Of course things aren't going to be the same." He half-shouted.

She recoiled, looking offended and shocked.

"Ivan, what's wrong with you? What have I done to upset you?"

"Don't act like everything's okay around here."

"What's your problem?"

"My problem? My problem is that you're acting like nothing has changed!"

"Are you even listening to me?"

There was silence for a few moments.

"You know what! I'm sick of this!" she threw her hands up in frustration. "I'm trying to make a valid point and you're taking out your own misery on me!"

He was silent for a second, before letting her continue.

"I'm the only one you have left in this house Ivan, and don't you dare forget it! Start treating me with respect. Just because I'm not going to leave you like everyone else doesn't mean that you can treat me however you want."

She threw her napkin on the table, turned on her heel and walked out, leaving him dumbfounded.

Natalya had never said something like that to him before.

In fact, no one had said anything like that to him in a long time.

Times really were changing.

* * *

He got off the plane around 12:00pm two days later.

Once the heat of the argument had calmed down, he and Belarus had decided that maybe he would benefit from a short holiday away from everyone else.

So here he was, standing in an airport in Khabarovsk, looking for the taxi man to drive him to an old Dacha of his that he hadn't used in years.

However, as soon as the taxi man was located and they arrived at the small house, leaving him alone, Russia felt the loneliness that he had been expecting from the arrival hitting him.

He was all alone in the house.

No servants, no cooks, no Belarus.

Just him.

He slung his bags onto the sofa, himself following suit, letting out a huge and dramatic sigh.

He didn't even have time to feel sorry for himself before falling asleep.

* * *

It was a knock on the door that awoke him; a soft and timid kind of knock.

Odd, he thought, he wasn't expecting visitors.

He got up to open the door, wiping his brow in tiredness and letting out a yawn.

He opened to door to be greeting by a petite frame that he knew very well from the past.

China.

How long had it been since he saw her last? A year? Two? He had lost count.

Yet here she was, looking exactly as she did all that time ago, a flower perched in the same spot in her hair, her eyes still as cartoonishly large - if not larger -, and two buns still tied high on her head.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, bluntly, apparently his bitterness from the USSR breakup had quite disappeared.

She looking slightly taken aback; she was expecting him to be happy to see her.

"Why so mean?" She asked him.

"I-I… I'm not mean" he said, trying to take back his harsh tone. "I'm just tired."

She nodded curtly.

"Can I come in?" She asked, shivering slightly in the snow surrounding her.

"Oh- Of course!" He said, stepping out of the doorframe to allow her to enter.

He closed the door and shivered too, suddenly aware of how cold he was.

"Oh… and Ivan?" she asked, once the door was closed.

"Mmhmm?" He replied.

"You really need to iron that shirt you're wearing."

* * *

He brought out some coffee and biscuits to the living room, where she sat.

"You never did tell me why you came." He remarked, sitting down on the sofa next to her.

"I heard that you were in Khabarovsk and I thought I'd pay you a visit, it takes much less time to visit you here than it does to fly all the way to Moscow."

He nodded, but remained silent. They remained like that for a few minutes, eating biscuits and drinking coffee.

He could see that something was bothering her, but he didn't say a word.

"Ivan, I'm worried about you." She finally blurted out.

"Why?" He said, even though he had been expecting her to say something like this.

"Because I don't want you to be lonely! 'The West' is scared of you Ivan, just like they're afraid of me, and I'm scared that you're all alone, especially now that you union has broken down"

He let out a sarcastic laugh.

"You don't need to rub it in."

She instantly went red.

"That's not what I meant!" She backtracked, "You know it's not!"

He gave her an odd sort of bitter smile, but the silence came again.

"Please Ivan, listen to me."

"I am listening."

"I know what it's like to be feared by people. I'm may be small but my country isn't, and all my life people have feared me. Ivan, I'm just as lonely as you are."

"I… I'm not lonely" He choked out, looking slightly helpless. "I have Belarus, and- and."

"I know what it's like."

He didn't quite want to cry, but something in the way she said it made an impact on him.

He stopped talking again.

She gave him a small smile before taking another biscuit and nibbling at the edges.

* * *

For the rest of the day they fell into more and more silence, but Ivan found that it didn't feel uncomfortable at all. Instead, it felt more companionable and comforting.

He was reading a book whilst she was reading a magazine when he finally realised that she was going to have to leave sometime or another.

A kind of emptiness took over, as he began staring down at the page, suddenly losing all interest he previously held in it.

He glanced over to her reading her magazine and instantly looked back at the book. He didn't want to be caught staring.

All he could think of know what that Yanmei was going to leave him soon too, and then he would be left alone in a cold house in January with only his thoughts.

* * *

Night fell quickly, and by around 4 o'clock it was entirely dark outside.

"You ok?" She asked, noticing him becoming increasingly and increasingly less talkative.

He snapped his head up, as though he was lost in a train of thought.

"Oh! Yeah! Of course!" he stammered, overenthusiastically.

She suddenly looked out of the window.

"Wow! It really does get dark quickly up here!" she exclaimed.

He looked to the ground, murmuring an inaudible "Too quickly".

She got up from the sofa, sitting up against the windowsill, admiring the snowy fields, even though they were hard to make out in the dark.

"I've never seen so much snow in my life!" she exclaimed, "You see, I've been spending a lot of time in Shanghai these past few months and you know how hot it gets over there. The cold feels a lot more welcoming than I remember."

He smiled at her, before uncomfortably twiddling his thumbs.

"So when are you going back?" he asked, his question growing increasing quiet as he struggled to say it.

"What do you mean?"

"To Shanghai… When are you going back?"

She swallowed audibly.

"Well… I was thinking… Maybe I could…"

"What is it?" He asked.

"Maybe I could stay here a little." She said, quietly, as though she was nervous. "With you."

"You want to stay with me?" he asked, as though the sheer idea was preposterous and incredulous.

"Well… Yes… It's okay if you don't want me to, it's a stupid idea anywa-"

He broke out into the biggest smile she had ever seen before coming up to her and engulfing her in a hug.

"Of course you can stay!"

She smiled into the hug too.

How long had it been since she had felt this welcome and accepted in someone's arms.

Unbeknownst to her, someone else was thinking that exact same thing.

 **So yeah, not my best work, but it was cute in the least. This pairing is adorable and I wanted to do a slightly more platonic-esque relationship, even though this is written as a romance oneshot.**

 **Also, I didn't want fem!China to say -aru and the end of every sentence because, well, to be honest it's kind of a pet peeve of mine, don't ask why.**

 **And YES, I know that the Baltics actually left the USSR before the actual abolition of the USSR, but for the sake of this story I'm just pretending that they left at the same time.**


	6. A Short Disclaimer

Hi there! If you were thinking that this was a new chapter then sorry, I am planning on writing something new soon, though, I'm just a little stuck for ideas, but there was something that I wanted to address quickly and please read.

I recently got a PM asking me if I was homophobic for writing straight couples all the time, and I'll be honest, I was kind of expecting something like this, especially from this fandom, and even though I love it (clearly), people can get a little too protective of certain pairings.

But before I get into it I just wanted to thank all of the lovely people in the comments, you're all so sweet and keep me motivated.

Okay, let's get down to business.

1\. To answer your question, I am not homophobic. I don't think it's possible to be in this fandom and be homophobic, but this fandom has enough yaoi stories already, so I thought I would take a different take.

2\. Another reason I'm writing it like this is because I'll be honest, I'm not good at writing yaoi... at all. Trust me. I've tried. It has been buried and shall never be looked at again. I'm not great at writing romance at all, which is a little ironic since this story is pretty much pure fluff, but I'm not even that good a writing straight stories, and that's the sexuality that I've had experience with myself. I don't just want to fling myself into the deep end of writing and start writing my first romance story in years as one with a type of couple that I have much less experience with.

3\. This isn't really a reason but I really wanted to get this out, especially in regards to a certain few people in this fandom...

 **I love you all, but just because it's not gay, doesn't mean it's homophobia, it's just not gay. It doesn't mean I have a problem with anyone's sexualities and it doesn't mean that I boycott all gay stories.**

Accusing someone of being homophobic is a really serious allegation, you can't just throw it about to anyone for no reason.

I think I'm just going to leave this up here and redirect someone to it f I get this same message again.

But once again, thank you so much to all of the people who have reviewed so far, I love you!


	7. The Mighty Fall

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, even though everyone knows that I don't I'm still going to put this here because it makes me feel validated.**

* * *

She was tired. So tired.

Stepping out of the world meeting she couldn't do anything but sigh, clinging her hoards of paper to her chest as though it were some form of baby hanging awkwardly in her embrace.

Lovina was never any good with babies.

Trudging out of the meeting hall she thought over why she even kept attending those stupid things; she never felt as though she had anything to say and they only ever listened to Feliciana anyways. Not that Lovina cared, nothing useful got solved in those meetings, much to The German Bastard's dismay.

Lovina shivered just at the thought of the German. She would never possibly have any clue as to why her sister was so obsessed with him, as he both had the personality of a potato as well as the looks of one. Tall, blond and bland. Feliciana was always around him though and he clearly had her brainwashed or something.

What a dick.

Now, on any other given day she would have loved to voice her concerns about the potato man right to his face but that day she just wasn't feeling it.

Watching her sister bounce around behind the potato she simply sighed again. How could one person have so much energy in their body?

How dreadfully boring her life had become, reduced to simply watching other nations bicker as she tutted her head.

She used to fight wars, topple empires, change history!

Now she watched Britain's awkward exchanges with the Germany as he tried clumsily to arrange meetings to talk about the effects of Brexit.

She felt like a side character in a sit-com, the one no one paid any attention too and was only given a two-episode cameo.

"LOVINA!" She heard someone shout in an overly-enthusiastic tone of voice.

She spun her head around, carefully trying not to drop a handful of the overspilling papers which were still nestled clumsily in her arms.

A look of disdain crossed her features, of all people why did it have to be him to interrupt her on her tired and grumpy day. Anyone! Anyone else! Well, maybe not Germany.

"How are you doing!" Antonio asked, smiling widely at her.

"Fine, even better now that you're here." She said, sarcasm dripping from her tone as though it was liquid.

He turned his face into an equally sarcastic frown, before returning to his signature smile. "You break my heart sweetheart, really, you do."

"Good." She replied, turning her back to him and trying her best to act contempt. Truth was, she didn't mind his company, at least someone was paying attention.

She only had to take a few steps away from him before Spain had ran up to her side again, trying to regain her attention. She almost felt the need to hold back a snicker at his childish antics.

"Lovi, wait!" So she did.

"What is it, bastard?"

"I have a proposition"

"So?"

"Come and have dinner with me tonight, you look so cute, it's only natural." He asked, and although he was trying to act suave she could hear that he was nervous.

Not that she knew why, he asked her out practically every time that he saw her, and every time he received the same monotonous answer.

"No."

His face fell slightly, but he was used to it by now, nothing ever changed with her.

He sighed before saying goodbye, trying not to look to dejected, and oddly enough, Lovina felt something strange stirring in the pit of her stomach. Every time she turned him down it came back stronger than before. Regret.

She had hurt him, it was all she was good for, she didn't even know why he liked her. He was a good looking man who had been oddly enough obsessed with the idea her for so long, why wasn't she swooning under his gaze like most girls?

Truth was, she didn't really hate his company, craved it, actually.

He noticed her.

She shook her head, shaking the preposterous thoughts right out of her head.

She could 'give' herself to a man, it would like being the final and most pathetic step to losing her independence.

She had lost so much over the years, going from one of the most influential countries in Europe to a country suffering as much from the recession as everyone else on the continent.

She and her country used to be untouchable by the rest of the world, what happened?

Letting herself be with a man or woman would be like giving up the last of her glory days.

So why did she feel so horribly guilty.

* * *

She had somehow managed to convince Feliciana to stay at her's for the weekend, something that she found harder than expected, since prying her sister from 'The Potato' was like trying to pry a Mormon away from Church.

They did all the things that good sisters do, made food, watched TV, painted each other's nails (well, Feli painted her own nails whilst Lovina watched, she wouldn't degrade herself to such levels of childish, girly idiocy - Feli said she was too highly strung and stubborn), and one night, Feliciana managed to get them to have those girly chats in her room after midnight.

However, most of the chat consisted of Feliciana gushing about her love for Ludwig and the other fraction consisted of Lovina chastising her sister for falling for such an idiot, as well as covering her ears with her hands and singing obnoxiously so that she couldn't hear Feli when her description of The Potato got too sappy.

"Oh Lovi, he's just so beautiful, inside and out." She would sigh.

Lovina felt close to gagging, her sister truly was obsessed, clearly possessed by some deadly virus that forced her to act like an 11 year old girl after seeing her celebrity crush on the front page of a teen magazine.

Lovina scoffed, clearly offending Feli.

"Lovina! Don't laugh, we're really happy!"

She couldn't help the snort from escaping her again.

"Just because you're a miserable git doesn't mean that I have to be." Joked Feliciana.

Feli clearly hadn't meant to offend her, but that didn't stop Lovina from feeling a little shocked by her sister's cruel and brutal honesty, she laughed with her sister but she still felt slightly attacked, and as the night went on and their conversation kept flowing, all she could think was:

 _It's called not misery, it's called self-preservation. Protection. Upholding my independence. Maybe you should try it too._

* * *

The time came for Feli's departure, and Lovi found it far more difficult than she had originally expected.

It wasn't like they would be apart for long, the next conference that they would hold together would be in a week, but for some reason Lovina didn't want to let go of her sister before she stepped into the airport.

"You'll text me when you get to your place, right?" She asked her sister, and Feliciana nodded.

"Honestly, Lovi," she said, breaking away from the hug, "I'm not 5 anymore, I can fly to the other side of the country without getting in trouble!"

Lovina giggled slightly, watching her sister walk into the airport, trailing a small suitcase behind her.

 _Just because you're a miserable git doesn't mean that I have to be._

Feliciana didn't know the impact that those words had had on her over the weekend. She kept mulling them over in her mind like a vicious mantra, letting them consume her, chew her up and spit her out at the other side still not knowing how she felt about it.

Getting back into her house she slumped into the sofa, burying herself into cushions and blankets.

 _Maybe I am miserable._

At that moment she realised that if everything went how she had planned, she would not have any human contact for a week before she saw her sister again.

She had planned the following week to be a mixture of reading and TV, perhaps a little cooking if she felt like doing anything.

Her eyes snapped open, her mind coming to a conclusion.

 _It's like a lesser form of self-harm, closing myself off to the world when other people desperately want in. I desperately want people to come in._

Feliciana was so happy, something Lovina was jealous of. She didn't care what the rest of the world thought, simply her own satisfaction with the dysfunctional life that was handed to her. Lovina was never that brave.

Lovina would never go so far as to say that her life was miserable, but she was never satisfied. She hardly even knew what the word meant. She lived her life day in and day out, and after hundreds of years worth of days she had quickly settled into the routine.

Yet it was so unrewarding.

Something had to be done.

So without even thinking she turned on her phone, opening messages, for once not thinking about the consequence:

 _Are you still on for dinner sometime? Just maybe, not forcing you or anything._

She pressed the send button as quickly as possible, careful not to lose her newfound bravery.

She immediately got up from the sofa, leaving her phone on it and opened a book, losing herself in it for the next few hours, too terrified to look at the phone to face the rejection that she knew was going to come.

Antonio wouldn't want to go on a date with her, why would he, she was mean and cold? He was obsessed with the idea of her unattainability, once she had thrown herself at him he would throw her away like she was scraps.

 _Yes. That was definitely what would happen._

Yet when she heard a 'ping' coming from the phone only a couple hours later, she couldn't help but pounce at the phone with such enthusiasm that you would have thought that he was sending her the cure for cancer via IMessage.

Antonio: _I thought you would never ask, meet me tomorrow at 8:30 ;)_

Oh how the mighty have fallen, she was going to willingly go out with him.

So why couldn't she stop herself when smiling and laughing.

She could be happy like Feli, she knew she could, she just had to give it a try.

* * *

 **AN/ I have literally read like two stories for Spamano before so I don't know if I portrayed them right, they're not really an otp of mine but I think that they're cute af so I just had to write this.**

 **Oh and ps. Halfway through when I was writing this I realised that this story completely fits with the song 'The Mighty Fall' by Fall Out Boy, so yeah, go listen to it if you haven't already because it fits so much it's crazy.**

 **I don't know why this took so long to write, I knew that I wanted to do a Spamano one next and I had loads of stupid ones that I got halfway through writing and then decided were crap. For example I had one set in a school and if you thought that it could have been good think again, it was terrible and made no sense ahhh. But seriously though, sorry this took almost a month, I'll try to upload more frequently from now on!**


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